When you have been through a particularly vicious break up, it can be difficult thinking that you will ever date or love again. But relationships often end, and the people in them manage to get on and start something anew, as can you.In the first few weeks or months after a break up, your ex will still take up most of your thoughts. You will think about whether the two of you will get back together, what they are up to, and of they are seeing someone else. This is understandable. You have been thinking about them every day that you were together, so you brain is unable to now shut them out completely, no matter how much you might want it to. But eventually you will be able to get over them, no matter how much they meant to you. Of course, you will always have a small place in your heart for them, and a small part of your brain will also always think about them, but you will get over them, and both your heart and mind will be able to move on to someone new.Here are my five signs that you have got over your ex, and are capable of moving on…
You Stop Stalking
Though almost no one will admit to it, this is something we all do after a break up. Our thoughts are still swimming with tem, and we want to know what they are up to. In the past this might have meant literal stalking, following them around, seeing who new they might be meeting, and what they might be getting up to. Every women they talk to will be their new girlfriend, and you think every smile that plays on their lips is about their wonderful new life. Whether true or not, all this does is to ruin your life without making any dent in theirs.Mow stalking is even easier as everyone is happy to put their entire lives online. Though you may not be Facebook friends anymore, your extended network will still allow you to see what they are up to. You’ll see them tagged in pictures of parties and think about how much of a good time they are having without you.All of this is damaging to your own psyche, but the masochist in us just cannot help it. Luckily, in time you will manage to wean yourself off it. Perhaps you’ll leave Facebook altogether, or just say enough is enough. Usually the decrease in cyberstalking coincides with an increase in other activities, so if you find yourself doing this, then look for other ways to spend your time.But one of the first clues you are getting over your ex is when you do not care about constant updates on their life.
You Stop Thinking
The next clue is that you suddenly think “I didn’t think about them today.” It might be that you have thrown yourself into your work, or someone new has come along, but there will be a day when it comes to you as a surprise that you have got through the entire date without a thought of them entering your head.When this day comes, head on out that night for a celebratory drink. This really is the first major signs that you are mentally and physically getting over them. They are no longer hard-wired into your brain, and whereas to start these ex-free days might be few and far between, they will eventually come with more regularity until you have gone moths without a though of them.
You Stop Wondering
Another good sign is that you stop wondering whether they have found someone else, or thinking about what their life is like now. You will always start by thinking that they must be having a great time without you, and will have a whole harem of girls after them now you are out of the picture. The good day for you comes when you just no longer care. They could have a new girlfriend or not, gone gay or not, be married or not, you simply do not care and have stopped wandering.
You Stop Hating
Hatred is a negative quality, but it is inevitable after a break up. You are going to hate your ex to start, no matter how you broke up. The harder the break up, the longer the hatred stays, but eventually it will subside. People that do not let it subside are the ones who are swallowed up with hate, and will let it rule their lives, alone.Make sure that does not happen to you. Use the initial hate to spur you on to your new life, but make sure that at some point you can let it go. Though you cannot let go of the hurt, you can let go of the hate.
You Start Loving
This is the big one. Once you can see someone else and really think about being with that person, it means that your ex is in your past. When this happens depends entirely on when you meet the new man, and it can have drastic effect on the other signs as well, accelerating them along as you forget all about your past and get on with your new life. Once you start loving, you stop hating.